A teenager's crazy life with her small town world and wanna be big time consciousness...
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Tuesday, July 23, 2002
Does this post?
5:37 AM
Thursday, July 04, 2002
Wow, I'm off for Europe tomorrow. It's crazy.
While I'm gone I'm going to be blogging at another site-Euro Girl. It shouldn't be to different, but I just felt like I didn't want people I didn't really know on this one. I put that address up on my YOU room dry erase board and I'm giving it to a whole bunch of people I just met. I'm still going to be completly open about everything but, yeah, I don't know...
I probably should go, I have to mow the front yard. *Tears for me*
1:15 PM
Wednesday, July 03, 2002
I had a lot of interesting thoughts today, one of them being that everything I think of, someone else has thought. It is quite a humbling bit of introspection. I think its good for me.
So last night, Erin and I were playing on my intermediate school play ground. Well, more like walking around it. It's been raining for the past three or four days, so everything was soaked, so we just walked around and talked. After a while, I saw something that made my spirit jump with joy; the old double bars. Back in the day, all the girls would gather around the double bars as soon as recess started. Sometimes we would have a *gymnastic* competition, the judges picking by who they liked best, on and off the bars lol. Sometimes we would just sit on them and tell secrets. You know, those really scary secrets, the ones you never tell anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like, well, you know, Matt? Matt, yeah the one who sits next to Micheal? He's cute!!!!!!!!! *Sighs* Wow. Oh so long ago. Fond memories. I realized today, that those double bars hadn't existed since 4th grade, not until my eyes glanced upon them last night. It is quite a strange idea, the concept that if it is not constantly in your life, constantly being brought up and recognized as real, it doesn't exist. It doesn't exist because it has no real purpose in my life. It only acctually existed for 30, maybe 45 minutes, that is if we were lucky, a day, for two years and only during the school year. It was real last night, though I could swear it doesn't exist today.
Ben and I talked alot about music genres today. About why the bands that have no melody and no harmony and nothing but screaming and simple angry words are big. I said that its cause high school isn't that much better than middle school. that teenagers and highschoolers aren't "happy" with the world. To tell the truth, I like almost every band he said he disliked. He said in college, the big music out there is the "celebration of life" as opposed to "I only care about myself, I hate everyone". I think its a good change. I can't wait until college.
I think I need to change the title of my blog. It has served me well, but no longer is a true reflection of who I am. If anyone has suggestions for the new name, write to me at dabopgk@hotmail.com, or catch me on aim as dabopgk.
Much love to all.
Becca
8:55 PM
To Me
Sorry
Our Lady Peace
Today's a reason for living
Today's the blood from a stone
Today's a light from a candle
Helping us to find our way home
Today we carry each other
Today the past is a freak
Today's a time for forgiveness
You were never that good to me
(Welcome to this world of mine)
I'm sorry, I can't lie
I'm wasting too much time
Drowning I've been blind
But I've opened up my eyes
Sorry, I can't lie
So I just say goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Yeah
Today's tasting the honey
Today's the strike of a match
And today's the lines in the pavement
Helping us to find our way back
Today's the crosses we carry
Today's the strength that we need
And today's the hand of an angel
You were not the kind to believe
(Welcome to this world of mine)
I'm sorry, I can't lie
I'm wasting too much time
Drowning I've been blind
But I've opened up my eyes
Sorry, I can't lie
So I just say goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Yeah
Oh what a day, oh what a day, oh my God
Oh what a day, oh what a day, oh my God
Oh what a day, oh what a day, oh my God
And oh my God, and oh my God, yeah
Today we carry each other
Today we do what we should
Today's a time for forgiving
Today I wish I could...
I'm sorry, I can't lie
I'm wasting too much time
Drowning, I've been blind
But I've opened up my eyes
Sorry, I can't lie
So I just say goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
Another bye, goodbye, goodbye
Another bye, goodbye, goodbye, yeah
Another bye, goodbye, goodbye
Another bye, goodbye, bye
10:21 AM
I had a blast tonight. So much fun. We ate at Chili's and then hung out at my elementry school play ground, then my intermediate school play ground. Played the question game. It rocked.
12:40 AM
Tuesday, July 02, 2002
S E X X Y
Lol, thats one of my favorite songs by TMBG. It kicks thoroughly. *Grins* Muahahahahahahaha, I just thought I would mention sex one more time before I moved on to something else. *Giggles*.
I'm about to go chill with my friend from soccer, Erin. She and I played together on the Cleburne Magic, a club team that was in existance for a year before it fell apart, aka- all the good players left (*Teehee* one fo them was me). She and I have kept in touch, kind of sort of, through e-mail and msn. She is an amazing girl, funny as hell and great to hang around on. She's even got an awesome nickname, which yours truly bestowed upon her all those years ago; C.P. or more commonly know as Cool Pants. *Grins*. If you really want to know, ask later............ Anyways, I'm excited and nervous. I don't think I've told her I'm bi, but of course dating is going to come up. Should I be honest? I want to be. I think she would be cool, but who knows....... Anyways, I'm not really to nervous about it, but a little.
Big fight with my mom today, over something completely trivial. Found out something. There is something really wrong with her, like physically, like she might not be able to go to Europe because she's going to be having multiple surguries. We don't know for sure yet. We find out tomorrow. I love my mommy, I really do, we just fight a bunch. We're both going to try to stop, really hard. I hope it works.
I want to talk to Analise, but thats normal.
Where should Erin and I eat tonight? Chili's? On the Border? McDonalds? Burger King? Wendys? I have no idea, I guess it all depends on the price range. I wonder if I can get some money out of mommy..................... *grins* That sure is something nice to write after that paragraph about loving my mommy. But seriously, I do.
Sex.
Hahahahahaha, I am so strange. I was thinking, maybe just the WORD does something for someone. You crazy SEX driven looneys!!!
Muahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!
Much love.
Bye.........
7:32 PM
Monday, July 01, 2002
I'm really horny today. Really horny.
You know, I thought for about twenty minutes before deciding to post that statement on here. Why? Because in today's society its taboo to mention the fact that we are sexually oriented beings. Seriously, to talk/think/act on or about sex is a horrible thing. However, and I find this amazingly strange, our entire society is based upon SEX. Sexual orientation, sexual attraction, sexual feelings, who's attracted to who, who screwed who, who's in love with who, and yet, its socially incorrect to mention anything past the normal gutteral grunts of- she's pretty, he's cute, nice body. Why is sex given such a negative connotation? It doesn't make sense. Of course, stds are rampant, sex is an emotional commitment, sex is human beings at their most basic instincts, but does that make it something negative? Does that make it "bad"? I don't think so. Sex is a completely natural occurance. Its not something "new" that someone worked up in a warped manner. It isn't something innappropriate. Without sex, we as a human race would cease to exist. We seem to enjoy sex so much that we've OVERpopulated the earth. Thats where homosexuals and bi-sexuals come in. Josh and I (a long, long time ago) thought about this and decided that we are natures cure to the overpopulation of a species. Because we have little or no desire to have intercourse with a member of the opposite sex we're obviously not reproducing, a feeble attempt to control the world population. Wow. I just wrote an ass load of stuff on sex. How fun and slightly contraversal!!!
I bet you I've embarressed someone by writing this. I might have embarressed myself lol, but why do I care? Its not like anythings going to happen about it.
I'm still horny.
6:57 PM
I'm doing better. In mind, body and spirit. I need to stop eating sugar though, like really bad.
Its hard to be away from her. Its really hard to love her and not be able to touch her, not be able to express my love through anything else but words. Sometimes its frusterating, sometimes its ok, not ok in the sense that I don't miss it, but ok in the sense that its ok I miss her. Does that make sense? It does to me. Its ok right now. I miss her but, like I've said to a few people, I'm not dying.
I have a rat named Lucy. I love rats. They are some of the best pets I have ever had. Lucy is climbing all over my lap right now. I love rats. They really are quite intelligent creatures, very kind and loveable if you don't scream when they touch you. Lucy doesn't bite or scratch, she just wants you to rub her ears.
I love rats......
I'm going to get my kids one when they're old enough not to accidently kill it. j8k6565 <-------- that was Lucy typing for you lol. When I was little, I accidently killed two gerbils because I was hugging them. Oops..................... I loved them to death.
I'm going to type up two songs from My Fair Lady. I love that play, though I hate the ending...
I Could Have Danced All Night
Eliza Doolittle
Bed! Bed! I couldn't go to ed!
My Head's to light to try to set it down!
Sleep! Sleep! I couldn't sleep tonight!
Not for all the jewels in the crown!
I could have danced all night
I could have danced all night
And still have begged for more
I could have spread my wings
And done a thousand things
I've never done before.
I'll never know
What made it so exciting
Why all at once
My heart took flight
I only know when he
Began to dance with me
I could have danced, danced, danced all night.
On The Street Where You Live
Freddy Eynsford-Hill
I have often walked down ths street before;
But the pavement has always stayed beneath my feet before
All at once am I
Several stories high,
Knowing I'm on the street where you live
Are there lilac trees in the heart of town?
Can you hear a lark in any other part of town?
Does enchantment poor
Out of ev'ry door?
No, it's just on the street where you live
And oh, the towering feeling
Just to know somehow you are near
The overpowering feeling
That any second you may suddenly appear
People stop and stare. The don't bother me
For there's nowhere else on earth I would rather be
Let the time go by,
I wont care if I
Can be here on the street where you live.
I like those songs a lot. They are my favorite songs in the whole musical.
Poooooooooooo, I'm bored.
12:15 PM
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